Social anxiety can significantly affect individuals, particularly during transitional periods like starting university. Mary, who experienced severe anxiety during her teenage years that led to depression and time off school, illustrates the struggle many face. By the time she entered the University of Exeter, she avoided group activities and felt unable to connect with others, resulting in no friendships throughout her degree.
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Mary's experience is not uncommon; up to 12% of people are affected by social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives, while many others report general feelings of anxiety. Experts emphasize that university—often the first time students live away from home—can heighten these feelings due to the expectation of quickly forming new friendships.
Mary recounts her initial attempts to engage, including attending a society event where she felt overwhelmed and withdrew. At 25, she describes her social anxiety as akin to an out-of-body experience, where she becomes so nervous that she struggles to communicate and often feels shame after social interactions.
Neil Greening, chair of the Social Anxiety Alliance UK, notes that individuals with social anxiety often perceive their condition as a personal flaw instead of acknowledging it as a treatable issue. Symptoms of social anxiety may include withdrawing from conversation, giving brief answers, or primarily sticking to familiar topics.
Recent trends indicate that social anxiety may be worsening, exacerbated by increased smartphone usage and remote working, which limit face-to-face interactions.
Mary has made progress in managing her anxiety after receiving NHS support in the form of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps individuals reshape their thoughts and behaviors. Prof. David Clark from the University of Oxford encourages proactive steps for those suffering from social anxiety. These include redirecting focus away from oneself during social interactions, testing fears by engaging in conversations, and eliminating anxiety-driven behaviors such as excessive self-monitoring and avoiding eye contact.
Mary reflects on her journey, acknowledging that overcoming social anxiety is a gradual process. She emphasizes the importance of positive support from friends and her experiences in smaller group settings during her postgraduate studies, which have helped her navigate social situations better. Though challenges remain, she continues to engage more actively, including joining an astronomy group, marking notable progress in her journey.